


Take Me To The Darkside

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abduction, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sam wants it, but it's okay XD, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-10
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-07-14 06:11:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7156760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Amara and Chuck got to terms things should be good for Sam. he has his friend back, his mother, his brother - but nothing is good. Someone is missing and Sam realizes just how stupid he had been all this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Me To The Darkside

Sam had no idea what to do with himself. Now that he was saved, that Lucifer was gone and Amara was no threat anymore he should have been glad. Sadly though, he wasn’t. Not even the fact that his mother was now with them in the bunker helped him. Sure, he was happy about it – he had his mom back after all – but it all didn’t sit well. It wasn’t _right_.

He worried about Lucifer. Not something he could talk about with anyone honestly, who would understand that he actually cared for him? But he remembered how he was sucked out of Castiel and ever since couldn’t stop wondering where he was and what he was doing. Was he dead? Wounded? Floating around somewhere between the worlds, unable to find a new vessel? Those thoughts kept him up at night and it was hard to shake them off at least for a few minutes.

Sam spent more time in his room than he should, he knew it. And, strangely enough, he usually blasted loud music. Just the same thing Lucifer did when he was hiding in his room. Maybe it was coincidence, Sam didn’t know. What he knew was that it made things a little better. He had a lot of time to think, more than he wanted. The things he realized about himself were scaring him a little, but more important were that he didn’t know how to change anything.

He actually _missed_ Lucifer. Over and over he analyzed his behavior once he was with them in the bunker and he couldn’t help but wonder if he was acting or not. Sam didn’t think so. He tried to do better, didn’t he? Hell, he wanted to fight Amara, knowing full well that he was probably not strong enough with Castiel as his vessel – he still did it. And now Sam had to live with the consequences. Lucifer too of course, if he was still alive at least.

Yes, Sam spent a lot of time in his room, but he also slept a lot. And when he did his subconscious mind reminded him of the past. Not of the things happening when he got his soul back, but before them – the time of the apocalypse. Those memories weren’t pleasant, they always left him with a bitter taste in his mouth. Some would think it was because Lucifer was cruel to him, but the opposite was true. He _wasn’t_.

It didn’t take Sam long to understand that the reason he felt so bad was that he allowed the feelings he had about Lucifer to actually exist now. Even back then, the strongest of these feeling was understanding, wasn’t it? He realized that he only hated Lucifer because he _had_ to. Lucifer was the devil, everyone expected Sam to hate him – so he did without even thinking about it. Now that he _did_ though, he came to the conclusion that he _never_ hated him.

Once he realized this, his heart began to ache. He spent years upon years swallowing these feelings down and now that it was too late they came back to the surface, showing him what an idiot he had been. If this wasn’t a summary of his whole life he didn’t know anymore.

Wasn’t the first thing overwhelming him when Lucifer showed up shock, instead of horror? Wasn’t he always angry around Lucifer, because everything he said hit so close to home and made him want to say yes right this second? Wasn’t he pretending to hate him all those years, because admitting the truth would have made him weak and vulnerable? These questions haunted him because he knew the answer to all of them. And the answer always made him want to turn back time and make up for everything.

It was weeks after everything was over when Sam lay awake in his room one night, his iPod playing a song he heard a million times already and that always made him feel like he would cry. Suddenly a loud bang – like an explosion – shook the bunker and he jumped up from his bed with wide eyes. Sam grabbed the angel blade on his nightstand and walked to the door.

He heard steps in the corridor and a second later the door sprung open to reveal Dean and their mother.

“Sammy, get her to the panic room!” Dean said, already armed with a shotgun and a knife. “Something’s breaking in.”

“What is it? Demons?” Sam quickly followed them down into the dungeon. Mary looked terrified, so Sam gently took her arm and smiled at her.

“I have no idea, probably –“

Dean couldn’t finish his sentence because another explosion shook them and threw all of them around. Sam instantly wrapped his arms around Mary so she wouldn’t hit the wall, instead he smashed against it with his back and head, groaning in pain.

“Sam, are you alright?” Mary asked, cupping his face once he was back on his feet.

“I’m fine, mom.” He said and rubbed the back of his head. “Dean, we have to –“

A door behind them burst open, the one connecting this corridor with the one leading to the garage, and they all turned around. Sam thought he would faint right this second. The blade in his hands fell to the ground with a loud cling – it would have been useless anyways. There, at the other end of the corridor, stood the one Sam never thought he would see again.

“Lucifer.”

Dean yelled something, Sam believed it was a warning, and dragged their mother away, but Sam didn’t move an inch. He just stood there, staring at Lucifer with tears building up in his eyes. The angel walked over to him slowly and they looked at each other. Sam’s mind was working, asking itself why Lucifer got his old vessel back, how it was even possible that he was still _alive_ , but all those thoughts seems to be weak – like the thoughts of someone else.

Lucifer was five steps away when Sam was yanked around and panicking green eyes looked at him. This time Dean’s words broke through the veil of shock, but they made no sense to Sam.

“We have to get away from here! Run, dammit!”

“No…” Sam whispered. He didn’t know why he should run. He watched almost hypnotized how Dean was pushed away from him and an invisible force pinned him against the wall behind him. Sam didn’t think, just turned back around to Lucifer, who was now directly in front of them.

“Lucifer.” He said again, his voice soft and heavy.

Lucifer smiled – a sight that melted Sam’s heart – and the next second he lost the ground beneath his feet. He instinctively wrapped his arms around Lucifer’s neck to not fall down as he was picked up – his eyes not leaving the angel’s for even a second. His mouth was dry, all the words he wanted to say to him – the apologies he wished he could give him – were simply gone.

“This time we’ll make it better, Sam.” Lucifer said, his voice calm and gentle.

With Sam in his arms he turned around, ignoring that Mary and Dean yelled at him to give Sam back, to leave him alone and go back to hell. Sam didn’t even hear them. He was lost in Lucifer’s eyes, in the glacier blue he never thought he’d see again.

 _Better, yes._ Sam thought, smiling slightly. _Lucifer is life… Lucifer is love._

Lucifer carried him out of the bunker, where he could zap away, and when he did Sam held onto him. It felt like flying when invisible winds tucked on his clothes and blew his hair around, but he felt no fear. All he felt was happiness about Lucifer being back.

They winded up in a strange place – a huge room with pillars on the sides and looking like some sort of ancient dungeon. Sam knew better than that. He knew where they were. In _Hell_.

Carefully Lucifer let the hunter down on his feet, in front of what looked like a throne made of iron and ashes. He felt small somehow, even though he had to look down at the angel slightly.

“I missed you, Lucifer.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could prevent them. “I’m sorry.”

Lucifer laid a hand on his cheek, a touch to which Sam immediately responded by leaning into it and closing his eyes. He felt calmness overwhelm him, like so many month ago when a vision Lucifer sent did the exact same.

“Things will be different this time.” Lucifer said and Sam nodded slightly. He knew. “This time it’s just _us_.”

“Why?” Sam asked and opened his eyes slowly. He had to ask.

“Because you are _mine_ , Sam.” Lucifer leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss on Sam’s lips, whose heart began to race at the unfamiliar but oh so welcomed touch.

“I am … yes.” He whispered when Lucifer pulled back.

“You are. And I am _yours_ , Sam.”

And that, Sam smiled to himself when Lucifer kissed him again, is how it had always been. Heaven, Earth or even Hell. It didn’t matter where they were. The only thing that mattered was that they were together and Lucifer was right, this time it would all be different. This time Sam knew the truth.


End file.
